What is love?

What is love?

Love is walking on the side of the pavement next to the road so she won't get knocked over.

Love is sacrificing his gloves to warm your numb hands so you won't have to eat your ham sandwich freezing down to your bones.

Love is sharing a bowl of cereal but keeping half above the milk because he likes it crispy and you like yours dunked.

Love is calling out for her to make sure she's safe even when she walked away in an argument far away from home.

Love is calling you beautiful early morning even in your bed-tossed hair and messy PJs sans makeup.

Love is walking barefooted with you in a crowded mall when you shed your soles.

Love is in the form of pixelated kisses.

Love is opening yourself up and trusting your vulnerability and secrets to someone.
Love is propping you up and pulling back your hair to make sure you're okay when you throw up.

Love is driving close to 700km in a day without an ounce of complain to a wrongly mapped destination.

Love is putting down your pride and humbly saying sorry for being unreasonable.

Love is unconditionally loving the other in times when he/she can barely love herself.

Love is sharing a single duvet in the cold winter.
Love is leaving little notes in the most unpredictable places as surprises.

Love is sharing of hopeful dreams to realize together in the future.
Love is praying together in joy and sadness.

Love is tirelessly waking up at 5am everyday during army to have that rare 5 minutes of phone contact.

Love is accepting each other's flaws for all of life's cruelty you have faced, through and through.

Love is respecting decisions made, whether good or bad, and helping you tide through them.

Love is sharing the same faith and thanking God for everything even when everything seems bleak and hopeless.

Love is what anchors you back to consciousness when you're floating into unspeakable dimensions and can't trust what you feel or see.

Love is being to many places around the around but knowing that you wouldn't trade your place next to that special one for anything in the whole wide world.

Love is not giving up through the distance.

Bastille - Pompeii

But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like you've been here before
How am I gonna be an optimist about this
How am I gonna be an optimist about this

 If you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all.

The last week,

Send offs are achingly beautiful, I surely know this. The emotions build up till the last day: anticipation, excitement at the luggage belt, joy, contentment, fear, emptiness, denial, routine and falling back to anticipation...it's a cycle. The memories liberate themselves before being caged up in the recesses of your heart, and that nagging feeling at the back of your head tells you that you don't even want to plan the days ahead beyond the date. It's a cycle, yes - but you can never be ready for this. Because it always builds up.

Beyond words,

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Rut,

Feels like I'm caught in a perpetual rut of stagnant quicksand. The past few weeks have been so uninspiring - and this lack of inspiration is pretty ex(zest)perating. I don't know if it's the office that has been sapping away my energy but I' m determined to get my game on and find that spark in me once again to do things I love and chase these dreams.

"So Jesus answered and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ it will be done." 

Matthew 21:21

Life right on track,

A perfect summer day at the railway tracks before they closed off for revamp.

Here's some sneaks from the roll of film, plus a puffed-up looking me attempting to be demure.

Life has been pretty much on track, I reckon. With summer projects and memories left behind, school has started rather lazily. (Apart from the full blast recruitment drive and interviews) And not to forget certain misunderstandings that have been incurred - words may be little but they are sure lethal. I never did buy a ticket for this unspoken edginess. So may I sincerely invite you to board off this train at the next station because it's heading nowhere, and we don't want to see you crash and burn. I can't keep holding on if you keep pushing me down to the tracks. I'm not sure about your train of thoughts, but if you insist on fighting against the train conductor, don't drag your friends along if you still consider them your friends, please.

Serendipity happens,

"There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself." (It's not in my nature to start off with a quote but it stared at me on my brand new page of July on my calendar) And when I'm being myself, I sit on the window beam and take out my marker to doodle on windows, it's therapeutic in a very badass but non-badass way. This week has been a whirlwind of happenings, but I'm really just waiting to chance upon a serendipity. July has always been the month and I'm praying it's joy doesn't fail, just like every year ♥

I'm not trying to be cryptic or anything, just need a space to write down my thoughts. Rational thoughts I hope, because I don't really edit my stream of thoughts - they seem very scattered and empty when you look back and correct words to fit the eyes of the world. (And to pardon you from the torture of my rants, hence the second half locked) Believe it or not, I like them raw so that when I crawl through my posts, scratches of that exact feeling falls back in place and time rewinds.

Sometimes oblivion may be bliss.

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P.S. Caught melbourne on film, will upload soon ☺

Nostalgia,

Still high in the sky

I'm no April's fool,

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Journalling,

Today's just the second, and that nudging empty feeling still lingers with that sour feeling in my tummy. Yesterday I started the journal, you're my ending note. The wax sealed golden letters await me every morning as I wake up from bed, the black outline of the numerals and the shaky handwriting in the inside causes me to quiver slightly with the sincerity that pours out with each character. Toasted waffles from London just fills me up with such warmth while the parka holds on to your traces, and this makes me cry.

This will not be a place for any empty feelings we hold, but the cherish of the memories time will unfold. These wooden frames around our faces will not cap the boundaries of time, the beauty of the years ahead will sublime.

On a side note, thanks Sean for the conversation this morning, really helped to cheer me up :)
Esp when I think of you and Kat together! God bless you two, too :)
And to Jeanie who understands me and feels the same way too, we shall be stronggg.